• World of Calm

Bad news....with anxiety

Updated: Nov 21, 2018

Anxiety goes with you everywhere you go, so, when you get some bad news, it is right alongside you – making you feel worse than necessary.


On Friday I was told I have a condition called Fibromyalgia, after many years of doctors ignoring my pain… interestingly, blaming my anxiety disorder and suggesting I should “try and relax”. Although it was unexpected and upsetting to be diagnosed with something quite so serious (seeing that the leaflet I was given was produced by “Arthritis Research UK” was pretty frightening) I am pleased that I am being taken seriously and listened to.


The way this links to anxiety:

- I thought the pain I was in was my fault, I used to get angry with myself for hurting because I thought it was because I was “too anxious” and “too tense”

- Anxiety is actually a symptom (and may also be a cause) of Fibromyalgia

- This got me thinking about how we process bad news when we have anxiety issues.


Bad news is rubbish, we all know that. I think the main difference for me, is that when I get some bad news, it triggers irrational thoughts. “If you describe someone's feelings and behaviour as irrational, you mean they are not based on logical reasons or clear thinking.” – Collins English Dictionary


So, I thought I’d share some thoughts I have been having since my diagnosis –

1) No one will believe me

2) What if it gets worse?

3) What if I die?

4) What if my family and friends abandon me?

5) Will I be able to enjoy the things I want to do in life?


Looking at them now, I know they are mostly irrational – but it is so so hard to be rational when you’re feeling down. Irrational thoughts only make you feel worse and are so unwelcome. Any tips for dealing with irrational thoughts? Send them in here.


What has helped?


I now want to share what has helped me so far. What helps you when you receive some bad news? Let me know here, or join the conversation on twitter


1) Treat yourself – okay, I got a few new things for myself and went out for lunch. Treating yourself doesn’t have to be costly, here are some great ways to do so for free. I like the one about spending time with friends!

2) Open up – tell people who care about you, let them know you have had some bad news and feel unhappy, they will support you the best that they can

3) Research and share your information. I know very little about my “new” condition. I felt so lucky and loved to look though the leaflet from the doctor with my fiancé. I was the instigator of this, which is a great way to get support (ask for it!)

4) Find a community – Still working on this. I have followed a few fibromyalgia groups/pages. Let me know if you know of any. This is the same for various things – heartbreak? Lost job? Unwell family member? Find someone else in your position and share your stories.

5) REST – bad news is exhausting, try and get some rest


So, bad news is rubbish and anxiety makes it worse. BUT, we can find ways to improve things. Get involved if you have something to say! Tweet me or send me an email. I want to update my tips section with some reader input.


Here’s the thought from the beginning of this blog post


Anxiety goes with you everywhere you go, so, when you get some bad news, it is right alongside you – making you feel worse than necessary.


Let’s turn it around


Caring people are with you everywhere you go, so, when you get some bad news, they can be right alongside you – if you open up and make the best of the support.


Have a fantastic week,

Harriet

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© Harriet Ogier 2018

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